If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
