I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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