New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
