Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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