WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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