so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
