Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
