Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am available for nakedness
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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