eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
