If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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