You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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