I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
did i just pee glitter
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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