Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
