You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
