She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
