turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
