K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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