i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
