thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
