yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
