Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
