he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
