Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
