i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
