I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
