So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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