did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
