I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
