OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
