This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
