this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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