apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
