Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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