dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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