my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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