Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize