how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
