im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
