Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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