Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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