That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
