What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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