direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
