Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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