You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
