There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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