Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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