So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize