pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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