I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
