you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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