do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Randomize
