you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
