Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
