Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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