I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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