You're my little dorito
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
