you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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