mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
