I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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